So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Randomize
