So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
