Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
