Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Randomize
