My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion