she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?