Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.