Will you blow on my dice?
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
These 27 Hilarious People Wrote Their Own Obituaries
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
23 Men Confess What Gifts Would Brighten Their Day
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.