I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
