he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
