i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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