Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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