I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
