Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
