Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
