I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
It's just like the Real World with babies
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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