I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
