im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
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We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
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This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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