After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
