anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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