come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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