me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
It's shark week go big or go home
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
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