I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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