Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
My vagina just recognized that song.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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