I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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