no, he came in my armpit
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize