textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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