no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize