He is such a slut. More and more my type.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
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The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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