It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
