Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
