I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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