so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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