It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
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