just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
