Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Every concussion has its silver lining
These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.