I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck