Betty ford says i'm here all night
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball