I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed