I'm gonna have a badass scar
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize