There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Randomize
