I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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