Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
