I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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