exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
