does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
This is my gift to your gina
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle