just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
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