Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
