I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
