two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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