he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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