fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize