who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
