I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
oh god was she eating orange peels again
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
