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he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
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i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
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