i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize