sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
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I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
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We have started to decorate penises.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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