my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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