I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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