I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
