butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
