this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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