It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize