Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
