when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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